Worth The Chance (Blue Falls #1) Read online

  Worth The Chance

  Written by Stella James

  Copyright © 2016 by Stella James

  All rights reserved

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons living or dead, events or locales are entirely coincidental.

  I dedicate this book to JW.

  Although our lives are no longer connected, I would have stayed with him a lot longer if it hadn’t been for you. I will never forget what you did for me.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to start by thanking my amazing husband who supports me in every way possible. I’ve been known to “dabble” here and there in whatever strikes my fancy at the time and his encouragement never waivers, nor does his patience. Thank you so much B, you are the best thing that could have ever happened to me and I am truly thankful each and every day that I get to call you mine. To my children, I never knew what true love was until I met each one of you. You are so beautiful and extraordinary in your own ways, I am anxious to see what the future has in store for you. Don’t ever be afraid to try something new.

  I have to thank the women in my life who mean so much to me that I could never imagine life without you. All three of you joined me on this terrifying journey and I cannot thank you enough for your advice, criticism and unwavering support. L, you are my person. You are the person I tell every deep dark secret to and I am so very grateful for you. To have a friendship like ours is a gift pure and simple. I would not trade one laugh, one tear or one “WTF” for anything in this world. Thank you for your support and for your honesty. R, you are the person I wish I could be. You’re the calm and relaxed breeze to my hurricane. Where you are quiet, I am like a mega phone that doesn’t know how to shut off. I would be lost without you and our mutually amazing taste in TV shows. J, I don’t think there has ever been a time that you haven’t encouraged me. You are strong and kind and I value our mutual perversions…Ha!

  Thank you Melanie for answering all my questions and allowing me to fill you in on all my progress. For the longest time you were the only person on this planet who knew that I was writing and your encouraging words and advice gave me the kick in the ass that I needed, I will be forever grateful.

  Last but certainly not least, thank you to everyone who has taken a chance on my very first book. I hope that you enjoy it and I hope that you will continue to read my work. As an avid reader myself, I know what it is like to get caught up in characters and places and everything in between that an author creates. I hope that you find something in my book that you can connect with.

  -Stella xox

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Epilogue

  Sneak Peek

  About the Author

  Prologue

  2 years ago

  My name is Annemarie, and I am no one. I am a ghost of my former self, mindlessly drifting through life with bruised skin and a broken soul. I have no family to mourn me, no children to need me, and no friends to miss me. He took everything from me and gave me nothing in return. What started as a fairy tale quickly turned to a nightmare that has lasted two years too long. When someone who is supposed to love you tells you that you are nothing, you begin to believe him. At first, you take in his hateful words and rationalize that they can’t possibly be true. This person loves me, he vowed to spend his life with me, of course I am more than just “nothing”. As time goes by and those words are spoken to you every day of your meager existence you stop rationalizing. You stop mentally fighting against the ugliness of the words and the certainty with which they are delivered. You begin to believe that they are in fact true. When someone who has vowed to cherish you puts his hands on you with such furious anger that you can no longer remember what his kindest touch felt like, you become convinced that you MUST have done something to deserve it.

  That’s what happened to me. But everything will change tonight. If I don’t leave I will die, of this I am sure. Tonight he will go to his poker game, leaving my broken body behind with an arrogance that prevents him from seeing the small thread of strength that I am clinging to. I will leave. I will lift up the loose floor board at the back of our walk in closet and gather my small duffle bag with the bare essentials. Some clothes, a picture of my parents, and the small amount of money I was able to keep aside in secret when he was too distracted by his rage to notice. My new ID was surprisingly easy to come by, it’s a wonder what you can learn online. I won’t bother going to the police. I learned long ago that when a fellow police officer pushes his wife down the stairs causing her three broken ribs and a broken arm that his buddies in the squad room are more than willing to turn a blind eye. His job is so important, he’s such a good cop, are you sure you didn’t slip? That was the first time he physically hurt me and the last time I tried to press charges. Tonight, everything will change. Tonight, I will free myself from this life. Annemarie will cease to exist and I will become someone new. Someone strong. I will not remain in this cage, rotting from the inside out. Tonight, I will prove to him that I am more than just nothing. Tonight, I will choose life.

  Chapter 1

  Lily

  Present Day

  My head throbs as I try to focus on the figure standing over me. He’s shouting at me but I can’t make out what he’s saying. My eyes drift over to my side and I see my favourite green vase smashed on the floor beside me. The pain in my head is so unbearable, I think this might be it. I think this might be the day that he finally kills me. He grabs me by the collar of my shirt and shakes me violently. He’s still shouting but I can’t hear anything. I grit my teeth, bracing for a blow that I’m sure will come and that’s when everything goes black.

  The beeping of my alarm clock rips me from the nightmare I’ve had on and off for the last two years. I sit up and pull back the dampened covers. I rub my eyes with shaky hands, trying to make my way through the fog and back into my present life. I am Lily Jensen, I live above the public library which I run six days a week. I live in Blue Falls, population 2,951 and I am safe. I am more than a twenty four hour drive from the city where I was born and raised. I repeat the words over and over as I make my way to the small bathroom just off my bedroom. I get in the shower and turn the water as hot as I can stand in an effort to try and wash away the tension that surrounds my body. I am safe. I stay in until the water begins to chill and make quick work of drying off and getting dressed. I comb my long brown hair and pull it together in a thick braid over my shoulder. My matching brown eyes look far too worn and weary for a twenty eight year old woman, but there isn’t much I can do about that. A quick breakfast and a cup of coffee later and I’m out the door heading downstairs. I will spend my day surrounded by the books that I love so much. I will leave my nightmare where it belongs, in the past with Annemarie. I am safe.

  *

  The first twenty four hours after I left Kevin were the hardest. I was constantly looking over
my shoulder, convinced I would see him storming towards me with that cold look in his eyes. I spent the first three days holed up in a cheap motel room five hours from the city. I was numb and scared but relieved to have finally made the choice to leave him and my dreadful marriage behind. Kevin and I met when I was twenty three and working in a small coffee shop downtown. My parents had been killed my senior year of high school by a drunk driver. I was an only child born to two people who also had no siblings. My parents were an older couple when I came along and my grandparents had all passed by the time I was twelve, leaving me alone in the world. I had enrolled as planned at the city’s downtown campus for college courses in English Literature and was able to narrowly complete my degree with the money left over from my parent’s insurance policy. Unfortunately, positions in my field were hard to come by after graduation which had led to my current job. It wasn’t much, but it paid the bills and rent for my small studio apartment and kept me busy while I continued to send out resumes. I had a life. I had friends. I was happy. I had spent six months dating the perfect man before we were engaged and quickly married. The following two years I spent married to a monster. It started small, him being displeased with me for not answering my phone right away or getting home a bit late from work and not having supper ready. I would always chalk it up to the stress of his job. I couldn’t imagine being a city cop and I admired him so much for his choice to serve and protect others. It took several months but eventually his annoyance turned into full on anger. By this point he had convinced me to quit my job and I had little to no communication with my friends. I told myself I was lucky to be married to someone who wanted me so much that he didn’t want to share me.

  Looking back, I was so naive and foolish. Kevin was the first man I had ever loved and I was committed to making our marriage last. A year in and I was enduring broken bones and bruises. Verbal insults were a daily occurrence at this point. Why couldn’t I just make him happy? Why couldn’t I be as content as his friends’ wives? Why couldn’t I just listen and make things easier for him? I was stupid if I didn’t make supper fast enough. I was a prude if I didn’t have an orgasm when he forced himself on me. I wasn’t as pretty as the woman who lived downstairs. My list of shortcomings ran endless. I didn’t want to believe the things he said to me but I couldn’t seem to help myself. For the last year of our marriage I kept my head down and my mouth shut. I agreed with him when he called me names and I learned to never refuse sex because if I did it always led to something worse. Part of me wishes I could blame it all on alcohol and that when he was sober he loved me and would never hurt me, that he just had an addiction and needed help. The hard truth was that every time Kevin beat me and made me feel worthless, he was stone cold sober. The day I decided to slowly start planning my escape was the day he smashed my mother’s green vase over my head because I didn’t have the football game on for him when he got home from work. That was the worst it had ever been. I spent over three weeks recovering and made a silent promise to myself that I would do whatever it took to finally leave him. It would take time to hide money and find a new name for myself, but I knew that Annemarie’s days were numbered. I wanted to live.

  *

  I left that cheap motel and didn’t look back. I hopped on a greyhound bus and stopped at random towns along the way. Working odd jobs, mostly serving tables for cash. I saved as much as I could while I worked. I kept to myself and lived cheaply. I didn’t know for sure where I was headed but I believed that I would feel it when I reached the place I was meant to be. Which turned out to be the mountain town of Blue Falls. A blend of old and new, most of Main Street was a mix of brick and stone buildings. I was enjoying the charm of the small town when I approached the small public library with a sign in the window saying “Librarian and care taker needed”. I headed inside and met Trudy, the current librarian who was due to retire as soon as she could find a suitable replacement. The position came with a rent free loft style apartment upstairs and a decent wage. When Trudy asked for a resume and I explained that I had been travelling for just over a year and working only for cash as I passed through, she seemed apprehensive but stated she was too old and tired to keep looking. She said I seemed normal enough and that the town could use some new blood. She met with the town council and with their approval, hired me on a temporary basis to make sure it was the right fit. Two months in, Trudy retired to an assisted living facility two towns over to be closer to her daughter and grandchildren and I moved into my new apartment and settled into my new position. I was exactly where I was meant to be.

  Chapter 2

  Cole

  I needed a beer and a hot shower after the day I had, I didn’t care in what order. I stomped the dirt off my steel toe boots as I made my way up the steps to my portable office on our current job site, muttering a curse and thanking God this day from hell was damn near over. Two broken down pieces of equipment, a no show mechanic and a delay in our project had led to one very pissed off client. I hated to miss a deadline but when circumstances were out of my control, there wasn’t much to be done but grit my teeth and take the verbal tongue lashing from some suit wearing asshole who had probably never held a hammer in his entire life. I snagged a cold beer out of the mini fridge in my temporary work space and got started on the paper work for the day. My crew was long gone for the day but I had learned from my old man back when he ran Stone Contracting that part of being the boss was staying late and getting the day’s work done.

  It had been five years since I took over the business that has been in my family since my Grandfather started out in his mid-twenties. Stone Contracting was known to the locals of Blue Falls to provide fair prices and quality work. I tried my best to uphold that reputation even when things didn’t go as planned. We took on a variety of work, from building expansions to road maintenance. We were the only construction outfit in town which meant we never turned down a job no matter how small. Our current job was adding an entire block of rooms to one of the existing hotels along the outskirts of town. The owner of the hotel didn’t live here on a permanent basis and was just in town to oversee the progress, which meant he was going to be a pain in my ass for the next month. A mountain town meant tourists and tourists meant money, but I’d never rushed a project before and I wouldn’t start now. Quality work took time and if a client didn’t like that, they were better off hiring a company from a neighboring town.

  Deciding the day was more than done, I finished up the last of my paper work, downed the rest of my second beer and packed up. I headed out to my truck just as my cell went off. Not recognizing the number, I let it go to voicemail. Whatever it was could wait until tomorrow, my sights were already set on a shower and whatever was edible in my fridge.

  *

  Last year I’d started working on my own place about ten minutes outside of town. I’d bought the small acreage not long after I took over the family business and took my time making my vision a reality. I made my way down the winding driveway and embraced the sense of pride that came over me every time I saw what I’d built. A two story log cabin with a wraparound deck and a detached two bay garage sat nestled among a forest of spruce trees. I wanted space and privacy which is exactly what I had. True, it was a bit big for just one person but I knew what I wanted and when it came to something I was going to build with my own hands, it was go big or go home.

  Checking the fridge proved to be futile, nothing but expired milk and leftover take out that was bordering on radioactive. Making a mental note to go shopping tomorrow I headed upstairs to the master bath, let the hot water do its job and promptly fell face first into bed.

  *

  A loud thud coming from down the hall woke me first, the female voice muttering to herself had me out of bed and dressed in loose sweats. Not bothering with a shirt I headed down to face what I was sure would be a far too loud conversation for a Sunday morning. As predicted, I rounded the corner to find my sister Kate unpacking several bags of groceries. “Thirty years old a
nd he can’t even buy food the dumb shit, what would he do without me.”

  “Oh I’m sure I’d figure out how not to starve to death.”

  “Jesus Cole! You scared the ever loving shit out of me! Ugh, put on a damn shirt, this isn’t fucking Florida.”

  I chuckled and accepted the t shirt she threw at my face. Kate was younger than me by four years but she might as well have been born first. Her instincts to take care of everything around her and control any situation possible came naturally. Some people didn’t know how to take her but I knew everything she did was with the best of intentions and considering she’d been this way since we were kids, she wasn’t likely to change any time soon anyways. While her personality could turn people off in her personal life, it was what made her successful at her job. She’d worked in the Mayor’s office as his assistant since she graduated high school. Considering the Mayor was nearing seventy and showed no signs of retiring any time soon, a spitfire like Kate running the show behind the scenes was just what he needed.

  She started digging through the cupboard and pulled out a frying pan. My guts churned at the thought of my sister’s cooking but I valued my balls too much to say anything as she started cracking eggs into a bowl.

  “I need to run something by you. The town council had a meeting on Friday with the woman running the public library. She wants to add a small addition to the building as some sort of kid’s corner or whatever. Story time and that kind of crap. Anyways, the board approved it so I gave her your cell number to get in touch.” she said

  “Shit Kate, we’re busy enough as it is, it’ll have to wait until this hotel is closer to being –“ before I can finish, she’s got her hand up, a signature Kate move when she wants you to shut up and listen.